One of the Best Works of Andy Cohen. Please note that the characters, names or techniques listed in Superficial: More Adventures from The Andy Cohen Diaries is a work of fiction and is meant for entertainment purposes only, except for biography and other cases.
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It also provides the website visitor with the status of the website owners' content protection. Learn More. Reproduction or re-publication of this content is prohibited without permission. Page Title:. Protection Status Unavailable. Page URL:. Page Link Unavailable We were unable to confirm the page you are trying to validate. He crouched down and locked eyes with me. I gazed at the beige carpet. A purple stain begged to be blotted.
Your drug addiction. Throughout our marriage, issues in our relationship strangled me. After years of futile attempts to change him, I had given up. Even though Tom and I were going to marriage counseling, I was oblivious to my own invisible prison of bitterness. I thought my happiness was tied to my husband—if only he would change, I could be happy. I had yet to learn, broken people attract broken people and broken people hurt each other. Until the brokenness is fixed, an invisible vacuum sucks us into a merry-go-round of chaos sprinkled with just enough temporary peace that momentarily deceives us into thinking that everything is going to work out after all.
In a way I found relief that day. My secret was out. Even though I had nowhere else to run, at least I no longer had to hide behind my lies. My problems started long before I met Tom. In high school, I spent every Friday night glued to the television. By the time I figured out that real devotion comes from a friendship, not a cruise ship, it was too late—I was already hooked.
Turns out I got old too soon and smart too late. By the time we were engaged, I had made Tom responsible for my emotional welfare. My heart was in his hands, and like a sports fan on Super Bowl Sunday, he controlled the remote. His actions dictated whether or not I was happy. He controlled whether or not I was depressed. His behavior monitored my peace.
I gave him my heart and threw away the key. At one time, I thought this sounded romantic. Countless women everywhere are hurting in the hands of love, misguided by romantic notions based on fantasies and fairy tales.
Emily tends to rush into relationships, believing what men tell her instead of taking the time to watch their actions. After her divorce from Ron, who had a gambling addiction, she rushed into a relationship with Michael, who was a workaholic. He was responsible with money, but she never saw him. She falls for smooth talkers and phony profiles. Two men she dated recently turned out to be married.
Erin puts her own needs in her marriage last. She is constantly compromising, even though it makes her angry. Keisha struggles with infidelity in her marriage.
Like the woman at the well, I was a big-time loser when it came to relationships. I was a love junkie, and men were my drug of choice. Some women are born with the ability to choose men wisely and have successful relationships. Not me. My picker was busted. And because I was so needy that sounds better than desperate , I looked for acceptance, worth, validation, and approval in my relationships with men.
Since I had no real identity of my own, I saw no other choice. Besides, relationships were a clever cover up—the perfect disguise for my addiction. Oh, I had met Jesus before. I gave him my heart at summer camp in high school.
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